Weekend ramblings.

I made a rookie mistake today.

NEVER wear a white bathing suit. Especially in cold water, in a public pool. Great start to the weekend. The pants weren’t totally see through however they were a horrible flower print you know the kind- the stereotypical ones a tourist wears in Hawaii. I had my suspicions that these trunks would be somewhat revealing however I thought the material would have been thick enough to keep my nether regions somewhat of a mystery. Apparently I was mistaken.

Thank god I threw on a pair of boxers incase I had been mistaken – Literally covering my ass -

The good news is no harm was done… I don’t think. I didn’t realize how transparent they were until after I had gotten out of the pool. Suddenly all of the seemingly strange looks I was receiving made sense – at the time I just thought that’s how people in L****** were.

Lesson learned. I went and bought some swim trunks immediately after I left the pool.

Anyways enough about that. I’m halfway through a tumbler of gin and watching the movie C.H.U.D. Classic 80s film. Daniel Stern and the Dad from Home Alone (Heeey Stern was in Home Alone as well!!) C.H.U.D. Stands for Canaballistic Humanoid Underground Dweller they are creatures that live under the city that occasionally pop up to the surface to munch on the people on the surface.

This script is terrible and amazing at the same time. It’s on Netflix check it out.

Alright that’s enough for today. I’m looking forward to watching a Harvinless Seahawks taking on a Bradfordless Rams tomorrow.

That’s it for me.

‘Rack em.

 

Have mercy on Percy

Percy_Harvin_vs._Redskins_2014_Cropped

This just in: Seattle Seahawks have traded Percy Harvin to the New York Jets for a conditional round pick.

and Hawks fans everywhere let out a collective #*%$^@!!!!

Okay I admit at first glance this looks really bad. I mean it looks really, really bad. It looks almost as bad as the Seahawks last Sunday against the Dallas Cowboys who – if you weren’t watching the game came in to the Link and completely man handled the reigning Super bowl champs.

That loss not only gave the Dallas Cowboys credibility as a legitimate contender to make a run in the playoffs this year, but it also gave the national media something to talk about for the next six years… Seriously it’s been about that long since the Cowboys finished with a record above .500.

GAHH now they have me talking about the Cowboys!! And this article is about the Percy Harvin trade!

I guess a change had to be made.

It was going to happen sooner or later. I think I feel the same way about Percy Harvin the same way McLovin felt about Coca-Cola. I like the idea of him more than I like what he’s done for the team.

Start the clip at 48 seconds.

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Seriously the guy has speed, and he’s more explosive than a 50 year old colon filled with Mexican food.

But now there are stories that are coming out such as anger management issues and other attitude problems not to mention the Seahawks have already payed him eighteen million — which is pretty good money for a guy that’s only played six regular season games…

The more I hear about this trade the more I can’t help but draw the comparison to what the Pats did with Randy Moss in 2010. Moss had been outstanding the previous year providing the New England squad with a deep threat and being a key component in bringing the Pats to within one game of perfection.

(GD ’72 Dolphins)

But attitude problems sent him packing to the Vikings where he barely had time to get his name stitched on the back of his jersey before alienating the fan base and getting shipped off to the Tennessee.

Maybe there’s a lesson in there somewhere. I think it’s that winners put the team first and while yes, you maybe unbelievably talented, faster than grease lightening, but the moment you put yourself above the team is the moment you find yourself on a one way ticket to New Jersey.

However, Harvin has ran a kick off back for a touchdown in the biggest game in Seattle’s history, won a Superbowl BCS National  SEC Championships, He’s also been to the Pro Bowl and was Rookie of the Year …oh yeah and he’s been paid. So I guess the bigger question is: What is left for Percy Harvin to do?

 

 

Cardio Sucks.

 

The problem with cardio exercise is that I have to invest time into doing it. It’s not like weight lifting where I can get a pump on and for a good 20 minutes after my set I look like I’ve just taken an entire bottle of Winne and then guzzled back a bottle of M1T.

No with cardio you get sweaty red and for me that’s a double whammy because I don’t get red in the face like a normal person I get blotchy around the neck area.

It looks like I’ve been rolling around in poison ivy.

So, the whole reason I’m ranting about this right now is that I’m working on my cardio…

You see for the past to years I was a full time student and I could not have cared less about going to the gym, Or what I ate, which happened to be a lot of Italian sausage pizza.

So yeah I see the benefits of hitting the treadmill but like I said it’s just lame.

Oh and don’t tell me running outside is better and “getting creative” with my work outs is a good idea because it’s not.

(Yeah that’s right CROSSFIT I’m talking to you)

For me working out and exercise has never been about socializing. In fact if I’m looking like I’ve been slimed. The last thing I want to do is go and chat it up.

Naw give me my hamster wheel and let me get it over with. That’s my philosophy because as I said before the only thing that will get you through a cardio session is time.

I guess that’s a good thing too. Maybe it’s a good life lesson for the instant gratification generation. Or maybe this is why obesity is such a problem in North America.

Well that’s enough rambling for one day just some quick droppings before I’m off to hit the treadmill.

Oh yeah another thing about weight loss. I know that diet is a huge part of losing weight but that’s another battle entirely.

Geez, I’ll gladly run another ten minutes on the treadmill if it means I can eat whatever I want and YEAH I know it doesn’t work like that BUT IT SHOULD!!!

Anyways, that about does it for me. I’m going to grab a cup of java and then it’s off to the races. Gotta work off that bag of Lays I inhaled yesterday – see previous article-

Treadmill 6.0mph 25 min 0.0incline

screw incline.

Rack ‘em

Real life Sex Panther: 70% of the Time it works all the time

Phero-x

 

Okay gang, I know you’re not used to seeing me write, but this is something I had to share in a blog post. I’m sure it’ll make it’s way into a podcast at some point but here goes.

So I found a bottle of Phero-X in a public hot tub today. Apparently it’s a pheromone cologne that makes you a “total hottie” to the ladies. Three thoughts immediately entered my head.

1st: Bullsh*t

2nd: What goes on in this hot tub???

and 3rd: Seriously that crap can’t work…. can it?

It’s one of those things that I could never see myself buying (hell I’ve a tough time remembering to pick up pitt stick… probably shouldn’t have told you that.)

But at the same time I find myself fascinated by the idea. I think I was in grade 8 or 9 when the first Axe body spray campaign was launched.

You know – the commercial of the nerd in the elevator with the nerd in the elevator with the supermodel and he loses his V-card because he’s rocking the axe body spray.

Yeah we all knew it was crap… but that didn’t stop us from buying that stuff from “Phoenix” to “Tsunami” and NO ONE enjoyed TSUNAMI!!!

So back to the whole Phero X or whatever the hell it’s called. I can’t remember. In all honesty my attention is divided between writing this article, the Bowling For Soup album I’m listening to and the bag of Lays BBQ chips that I’m powering my way through.

Whatever. 

So let’s say whoever bought into the idea that this is some scientific formula that is medically proven to give you some sexy man stank, the question still remains why do this in a hot tub?

Why not the club, or bar, or house party or movie theatre or well… pretty much anywhere else.

Anyways that’s my life and incase you’re wondering no I did not pocket it for later use…

The bottle was empty.

Rack ‘em!

 

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